Your Life Is a Story, Make It a Good One
What story best describes your life?
What character do you play? The rebel? The caregiver? The victim? The boss?
The human experience is like being a character in a story book.
The great news is you can change your story.
There are all sorts of stories, some are sad and some are fantastic.
We can have stories of being treated unfairly, being different, or being down on our luck.
We can have stories of being fortunate, being victorious, or being successful.
We have many stories, and we play a lot of different characters depending on our surroundings.
Let’s change the stories that limit you.
Very early on, before we have any awareness of it, we adopt our stories and our roles.
Then we live our lives acting them out and enrolling others into our stories.
Our early experiences shape these stories.
If you failed a spelling test in first grade, you may have developed the story that you’re bad at spelling.
If you got sick a lot as a kid, you may have developed the story that you have a weak immune system.
If you experienced loss or abandonment, you may have developed the story that you’re unlovable.
“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” Orson Welles
Wow, do you see how the power of our stories will influence the whole direction of our lives?
All our stories, whether they’re glorious or gloomy, are made up, but we live our lives as if they’re true.
Our stories are compelling because living as if they’re true brings about circumstances and results that give us “evidence” to the reality of the stories.
This situation isn’t good or bad, it’s just the human experience.
The most important thing you can do to move forward in life is to explore your stories.
Acknowledge your ability to create stories, and take time to examine the stories and the roles you play in them.
Why do I believe this?
When did this feeling start?
Is there a legitimate alternate story I could believe instead?
Know that you’re free to change your stories!
“My life is a lovely story, happy and full of incident.” Hans Christian Andersen
Don’t entertain stories you don’t want to be true for you.
As compelling as your past feels, you don’t have to believe in the limitations your story placed on you.
Even if it sounds ridiculous at the moment, insist this just isn’t your story any more.
Maybe your stories have intertwined with other people’s stories?
Don’t allow yourself to be drawn in to act in someone else’s story if that story doesn’t align with what you want to be true for you or for them.
When you step away from old, unwanted roles and step into new empowered roles, big changes happen.
It’s like applying a filter to your life.
The people and circumstances that resonate with the new role will be drawn closer to you, and the people and circumstances that reject it will fade away.
But don’t let this stop you!
If you’re determined to walk off the stage of a story that’s painful or holds you back, you need to allow these shifts to happen.
Your life is too precious to keep living a story that no longer fits you, brings you pain, or limits you.
“Let your dreams outgrow the shoes of your expectations.” Ryunosuke Satoro
Expect resistance, and that’s ok.
When you begin to challenge your stories, you’ll face resistance.
You’ll get your own internal resistance, and you’ll get push back from the people who think they know you.
After all, you’re going to be playing a new role, and people aren’t used to that.
To our egos, we are our stories.
The ego is going to fight to maintain those stories.
Here’s a tip to help you know when your story is fighting back for its survival.
If you feel an emotion flare up in defense of a situation, your story is acting out.
Emotions like righteousness, anger, frustration, grief, and sadness are clues that you’re living in your story, and your ego is defending it.
This is especially true when the emotions are out of proportion to the situation.
Step back, remind yourself this is a story, and make a loving and empowered choice.
Do you want to play this role or not?
As always, I wish you all the best!